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“What a hunk!” “Which one was it?” I asked, allowing a little boredom to creep into my voice. “I don’t know. The one with the great big cock!” “Daniel,” I murmured. “You’d never call Robbie’s ‘great’ or ‘big’.” “You’ve… you’ve seen them both?” Laura spluttered, throwing herself into the depths of the sofa. Behind those wide staring eyes, Laura’s brain was spinning like a sexual turbine. I held the steaming cup of Forest Berries and inhaled deeply, finding serenity where there had threatened to be laughter. I knew Laura. Knew what she’d be thinking about me and my housemate’s cocks. If I’d seen them, then I must have done other things with them. Hold. Lick. Suck. Fuck. Her eyes were glittering, but the truth was I had done none of those things. The bathroom door had been jammed open since I’d moved in. The floorboards had warped and… and the landlord’s an arsehole, as Robbie had put it so succinctly. I’d been horrified by the casual ‘dumps downstairs’ rule, however I’d got used to. For now, I felt safely tucked away from the bustle of everyday life, and had spent most of my time reading books and lounging around, thinking about what I wanted out of life. My host family didn’t complain about my lack of physical activity. They were an older couple who had never had any children and they were quite happy to have a surrogate son staying with them. They treated me very well. Mrs. Foster was happy to cook and clean for the family every day while Mr. Foster, now retired, sat around reading his newspaper and smoking his pipe. I sat all day long on the sofa devouring novels I had brought over from Europe. We made quite the old-fashioned family in many ways, but I knew it couldn’t last forever. Today was Christmas day. Mrs. Foster had invited a couple to dinner that she and Mr. Foster had known for many years, and a friend that they called Uncle Joe. Joe wasn’t really an uncle, at least not to them. He was Mrs. Foster’s sister’s boyfriend, although many years younger.
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